Right Date?

My roommate once said she preferred an activity for a date. Her reasoning was that it gave the two of us something to focus on instead of each other. I agreed with her reasoning, but then wondered where do you go?

I won’t beat the dead horse that is ‘third spaces’ because my feelings are already clear. Late stage capitalism asks us to adapt so as human beings, we have done just that. My friends and I were able to find a more hole-in-the-wall bar we felt safe attending. This bar has pool tables and bowling alleys along with a great seating area. This is a rarity find, and has served us well. In a romantic way, how do you find those activities that aren’t going to break the bank?

I have been testing this out myself as I venture on the scene again. If you read my last article you are most likely extremely perplexed. For research/community/scientific/selfish purposes I have gone sparsely on dates, mainly with men. In order to weed out bad actors I almost always have them plan the date. I truly mean take the time and energy to pick a date, time, and activity.

In straight man fashion, they are happy to let me plan it, and if we keep it cheap all the better. This can range from going to the park to learning a new game, grabbing a mocktail, or getting an appetizer and dessert. My first date in this series, so to say, was playing poker at my friends and I hole-in-the-wall bar.

This date was not a typical one for me, just given he wasn’t my usual type. He was a bit shorter, bald, and a little older. He is ex-army and felt his experience made him question his government more. What stood out to me was on his dating profile, his political affiliation was set to liberal. If you have had social media in any capacity after the election, you know. If you don’t know, I'll tell you! A ton of 20-30s guys are setting liberal on their dating apps to trick women into going out with them. It is an insane thing but a good time to test it. As mentioned in another article, you don’t want to jump in with ‘Wanna join the revolution?’. For the first meeting in a political aspect, he passed.

For the rest of the night, we sat and learned poker using WikiHow and reading step by step. The conversations were light and the food was good. In a world focused on hyper masculinity it is hard to find men who can value more than the surface masculinity. As a woman, it seems the balancing scale for most men involves confidence without relying on previous male standards. As the times change so does the “hottest” thing when it comes to looks.

While it is too soon to say how it will end up. I can say so far it has been fun and a good time. I am excited to continue seeing him.